Object 003 - N.002: Girls' Night
I have a smutty book club with two of my good friends, we're called The Intellectuals because we read so much, although I'm not sure the material is making any of us smarter.
At our book club meetings we share some of the best & worst lines from recent books, but we mostly just have multiple ADHD-fuelled conversations til we get tired. And drink shots from a dildo bottle that someone kindly gifted me in June. I'm not actually a big drinker these days so it's taking a while to get rid of this bottle. It lives on my kitchen counter and blends in with the room, I forget it's there. I'm worried I'll have someone fancy over and forget to move it.
It's difficult to be careless with clothing, it's very automatic to put your hand underneath to catch dribbles (😏) but I am starting to get the hang of it.
Irn Bru is my favourite fizzy drink, and Scotland's best selling fizzy drink. The claim is that we're the only country where the top drink is not owned by coca cola.
A fun fact about me is that until a few years ago I could not burp, AT ALL. It was very painful, I felt sick after every meal, but doctors didn't really take it seriously or know what to do. It was recently recognised as an official disorder, R-CPD, and a cure was found, which is Botox injected into a sphincter in your throat to paralyse it. I had the Botox done (twice) and have been burping ever since. My life is infinitely better now because of it.
Part of the recommendation is to have fizzy drinks at first to help train the brain to relax this muscle, while the Botox is in effect. Eventually the Botox wears off but the burps (hopefully) remain. As such, I developed a one-a-day Irn Bru habit. It's cool, it's medical 😄
So to express my love of Irn Bru and burps, I had my two Intellectual friends spray me with some in the garden. They only had DIET Irn Bru in small bottles in Tesco, and I just couldn't bring myself to use it on my dress, it wouldn't be authentic to who I am 😂 So I had to use the big bottles.
I've got the whole thing on video but here are some of the best shots.
It has dried with a really cool speckled pattern on the side that was the most drenched. My guess would be something kind of crystallised as it dried. I love it!
And this will now, and forevermore, be referred to as the time my best friend gave me a surprise facial and soaked my pants.